


Way down deep where the shadows are heavy

by Every_Sourwolfs_Dream



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Agender!Cas, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling, Destiel - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ficlet, Fluff, M/M, One Shot, Other, Sad Castiel, Sad with a Happy Ending, Short One Shot, short one shot destiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-28 02:33:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5073988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Every_Sourwolfs_Dream/pseuds/Every_Sourwolfs_Dream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Open your eyes for me Cas,”<br/>He waited.<br/>One at a time those blue fires peeked open, vaguely staring at the ceiling, using all their might not to meet the gaze of the forests they knew so well, else they might burn them down.</p><p>[genderless/agender Cas comes out].</p>
            </blockquote>





	Way down deep where the shadows are heavy

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> Just a shortie here!
> 
> Suggested music:  
> Kingdom Come, The Civil Wars  
> Remains, Bastille
> 
> WARNINGS:  
> \- Panic attack  
> -Dysphoria mentioned  
> -Worried about coming out
> 
> IT HAS A HAPPY ENDING!

Dean woke up, strange-he usually slept like a log with Cas curled up against his side. And it wasn’t because his arm had become leaden under Cas’ shoulders.  
Dean couldn’t rest. Something was wrong, bugging at him, pulling him out of peaceful slumber.  
“Cas…” Castiel wasn’t asleep either. Dean frowned, Cas continued to act unaware of his surroundings, but his breathing was far too rapid, muscles stiff in anticipation as he lay flat on his back.  
He knew Dean was no fool.  
Castiel’s cheeks began to rouge as Dean rolled to hold his own bodyweight above him, arm still trapped under Cas’ back. His little blush would have been cute, Dean thought, if he couldn’t feel Cas’ anxiety soaking the air between them.  
“Cas?” Dean called again softly, not wanting Cas to shut down further as he squeezed his eyes shut tighter.  
“Open your eyes for me Cas,”  
He waited.  
One at a time those blue fires peeked open, vaguely staring at the ceiling, using all their might not to meet the gaze of the forests they knew so well, else they might burn them down.  
Castiel sucked in a deep gulp of air, as if deprived of oxygen, his chest rising and falling with convulsing speed.  
“Woah, woah, Cas.” Dean cooed, lowering himself back down slowly to Cas’ side to take away the element of vulnerability Cas was so blatantly experiencing. Dean was determinedly hiding his own distress. Shit, Cas never reacted to him like this. Had he done something? Had he crossed a line somewhere earlier? He thought Cas was having fun?  
Dean caged it in, refusing to make Cas’ panic worse, all he could do was gently ease Cas back into a regular breathing pattern.  
Ever so tenderly , Dean felt Cas’ hipbone- he found that comforting.  
“Can you tell me what’s wrong babe?” He whispered to the calming Cas.  
He waited some more.

 

Dean swore his heart was ripped out of his chest in sorrow as Cas murmured back, “Angels don’t have genders” curling up on his side, shuffling his back to Dean. He couldn’t keep quiet, so Dean kissed Cas’ neck,  
“Oh Castiel, how long have you been holding this in?”  
Dean couldn’t make out the answer as Cas dropped his walls, sobs exploding from his ribs as he turned to face Dean, curling up against Dean’s chest. So Dean just let him cry, cradling him.  
That’s why he’d been shaving more, Dean thought, holding himself differently. Not that anybody else would notice, but Dean did. Cas quite clearly had to do something, it was affecting him so sharply that he couldn’t hide it anymore.  
“It’ll never matter to me babe. I can just call you my little hamburger instead of ‘boyfriend’.”  
Cas sniffled, “I’m not that much smaller than you, assbutt.”  
“shhh my hamburger, I need my beauty sleep.”  
Dean howled with an elbow to the ribs.

 

“Seriously though,” Dean whispered in the dark, hoping Castiel was still awake, “I’ll help you with whatever you wanna do, that’s what I’m for. Slay a monster? Sure. Change those...”  
“pronouns?” Oh, so Cas was awake,  
“Totally down for that too.”

**Author's Note:**

> :)
> 
> I always think of the supernatural angels as agender, and coming out is always scary so... this fic happened.
> 
> *also, just saying that agender/non binary people don't have to be more aesthetically in the middle, that's just the way cas was feeling in my head :-) *


End file.
